Nobody Knew! (34/73)

My bedroom was big which was good because Grandma Lois had bought me a brand new bedroom suite for my birthday that year. A complete set that matched. I felt like a princess in a brand new castle. The one rule was that I had to look after the furniture and keep my room clean. A pretty fair deal I thought. I was good at keeping my room clean back then. After a few weeks I no longer felt like a princess or thought I was living in a castle. Even the move could not chase away the prison of darkness that followed me around. Soon my room began to feel like a torture chamber.

Jack was waking me up a lot that summer. It was as often as every other night. I really began to wonder how much more I could take. My new bed was already ruined by the memory the abuse that happened in it night after night. There was no place that I could hide. No corner of the house that was safe or untouched. To make matters worse, my Mother was away a great deal, helping my Grandma Lois on the farm. For some odd reason I was left in town with Jack so I could unpack my room and get settled into the house.

I would spend my days unpacking, setting up my room and doing my chores. My nights on the other hand were a nightmare. Some of the nights Jack would make me sit and watch pornography with him for hours. When he would I would stare off away from the TV without him noticing and imagine that I was in some place wonderful. Sometimes I would imagine that I was in a big field of tall grass. The sun would be shining down upon my face. Not a cloud in the sky. Then I would Imagine that I was walking in the sunshine stretching my arms out to feel the blades of the grass brush against my fingertips as I passed by. I would spend hours in this field. A place I could be all alone and safe for a while. Even if it was only in my mind. It was the only way I could escape the reality of what was going on in front of me.

On the other evenings Jack would wake me after I had been sleeping for a while. At times he even stunk of stale whiskey. He would drag me half asleep to all areas of the house and force me to engage in all kinds of sexual acts with him. I had been drug into the living room, the dining room, the family room, my mother’s bedroom and of course my own room. It was horrible when my mother was away. Even at this moment I get chills thinking of that summer. I was an imprisoned ten-year-old sex slave. And nobody knew! Nobody was coming to save me.

I would wonder why my Mother could not see what was going on. It was right in front of her! If she had only taken the time to look. How she could not see the darkness. Especially after all the times Jack had beaten her.