Family Released After Standoff…. (70/73)

On the morning of December 30, 1991, the moment I had been waiting for was about to arrive…

When I awoke that morning Jack was already awake. I found him sitting at the kitchen table rolling cigarettes and drinking coffee. I could tell by his body language and the way he was slamming the cigarette roller around on the table that he was frustrated at something. I quietly continued to prepare Raven’s bottle. As I was just about to leave the kitchen, Jack began to yell at me about the last nights dinner dishes. I abruptly stopped and turned around and told him to leave me alone and to do the fucking dishes himself. I then walked away. I could hear him slam his coffee cup on the table as I did. Before I reached my bedroom door, my Mother came out of her room and asked me what was going on. I replied by saying it is time for him to go! She took one look at me and then headed to the kitchen.

The two of them argued for about fifteen minutes and then things seemed to calm down. Raven and I came out of the bedroom once Jack retreated into his room. After I feed her, I was quietly rocking her in the rocking chair when Jack came back out into the kitchen and dinning room area. This time he was even angrier than he was before. Now he was yelling at me for not putting the diapers in the washer yet. Screaming at me that the houses smells and it was because I was a dirty pig mother and did not take care of Raven’s things. I ignored him as he ranted on. Eventually that made him even more outraged and at that point he went to retrieve the diaper pail from the room to take to the laundry room. On his way by, he motioned as if he was going to throw the dirty diapers at me. When he did, my Mother stepped out in front of where I sat and said ‘just try it asshole. It was a nice gesture but really what could she possibly do against him. Had she not already learned that lesson after all these years of being beaten by him. If he wants to hurts us, he will. Nothing will stop him.

Once he came back into the apartment, he sat down at the kitchen table. At this point, my Mother headed back down to the bedroom and closed the door behind her thinking the issue was over. She could not have been more wrong. Within minutes, Jack was yelling at me again, this time telling me to put Raven down in her crib and clean the kitchen. I could not believe my ears. He just was not going to stop this morning. Once again, my Mother came out of her room yelling at him to stop and leave me alone. He once again retreated to kitchen table. As he sat there, my Mother and I could see that he was tapping his foot up and down rather quickly. The sight of him doing this started to terrify me. I could tell something bad was about to happen. I could tell he was going to hurt one us really soon. I think my Mother could also tell something was wrong so she quickly went to her bedroom to grab her housecoat to put on over top of her pajamas.

Once she returned to the living room Jack started to question her on why she was in the bedroom. She responded by saying I went to grab my housecoat, is that all right with you? He looked closely at her face as if he did not believe what she was saying. He knew she had done something more than she was saying when she was in the bedroom. Before he spoke a word, he raised his right hand and reached out to the butcher knives that were hanging in their sharpeners on the wall. He quickly pulled one of them out of its case. The sound of the steel grinding cross the sharpener echoed in the house. As it did, I found it hard to breathe and my heart began to race. Once the knife was firmly in his hand, he looked at my Mother and said… ‘You better of not called the police when you were in the bedroom because if you did…. I will stab Dawn Marie right here right now in front of you!’ My Mother immediately spoke up and said she did not call the police!

However she was lying. She did dial 911 on the bedroom phone and left it off the hook before she came back out. Everything began to slow down and felt as if it was going in slow motion. I could barely catch my breath as I tightly hung on to Raven in my arms as she slept. Then before I knew it, there was loud bang on the door as you heard a voice yell ‘Edmonton Police!’ Jack began to move close to me it an attempt to stab me as he said to my Mother… ‘I told you that you should not have done that.’ As he spoke, he moved closer towards me. I turned my back to him and guarded Raven in my arms. If he was going to stab me then so be it but there was not way I was going to let him hurt her.

I trembled in fear, as he got closer and closer to me. I knew I was going to die. My Mother screamed for him to get away from me as the police continued to bang on the door demanding to be let in. Once Jack reached me, he pressed the knife against my neck and yelled at the police to get away from the door or he would kill me. I guess he realised that I was worth a lot more to him alive in that moment than I would be dead. As he spoke, we all froze. My Mother, the police and me. The police agreed to back away from the door as long as Jack did not hurt anyone. Once he agreed, they retreated away from the door. He directed my Mother and me to go and sit in the kitchen at the table. However, he did instruct my Mother to close all the living room curtains before she could sit down. She began to argue back with him until he pointed the knife once again towards me. She complied with is requests as I begged her to listen.

I wondered as I sat there, what it would feel like to be stabbed. Would it hurt? Would I survive? Would I die? I prayed that it would not hurt when the time came. I did not want to feel any more pain. I also prayed that Raven would make it out alive. I was silently terrified in those moments sitting there. My mind would drift to episodes of Law and Order I had seen where there were snipers outside waiting to take the bad guy out if they saw a shot. Our dinning room curtain did not cover the entire window. There was a two-foot gap in between the top valance and bottom section. From where I was sitting, I could see directly out the window to the top of the building directly across from us. At times, I could swear that I saw someone up on the building and for a split second, I would close my eyes and wish the police would storm in on ropes through the windows to save us. My imagination was working overdrive due to fear. I knew none of the scenarios running though my head would happen. I did not think anyone was coming to save us. And even if they did I knew I was not going to make it out of this situation alive.

For hours, we all sat around the table. The hostage negotiator would call on the house phone about every 15 minutes to check on things and talk to Jack. Although the conversations did not seem to lead anywhere. Jack had asked for some cigarettes to be brought in for him, but they were delaying giving them to him in the hopes that he would realise one of the hostages. Jack had no plans on letting any of us go. Especially not Raven or me. However, he was considering exchanging my mother for the cigarettes. At one point, he let her get up from the table to use the washroom. Once she left the room, he told me that he would not let me go and that today was the day that I was going to die!

He stated it was my punishment for making him tell my Mother the truth. He then proceeded to tell me that my Mother and he would raise Raven as their own once I was gone. As he spoke the tears ran down my face, I could not hold back the fear and anguish any longer. He was going to kill me and there was nothing I could do about it! Once my Mothered returned to the kitchen Jack instructed me to put Raven in her stroller while she slept. I was so scared to let her go. I was scared of what he was going to do to me once she was not in my arms. I was not ready yet… I was not ready to die. After I covered her up with her favorite blanket and gently kissed her forehead, I sat back down. As I did, the phone stated to ring. Jack reached out to grab the phone and said… ‘you better have my cigarettes?’