LATER (44/73)

The next few weeks passed rather quickly. Jack left me alone for the most part. He was busy trying to show my Mother that he had changed. The honeymoon phase, I believe it is called. That moment when everything seems perfect after it was not! Christmas was coming fast and all the family would soon be arriving. I tried to stay focused on the fact that I was getting a chance to be with them all but there was a part of me that was concerned that things would get out of hand when they were here.

‘What if Jack and my Mother fought when they were here?’ There was going to be so many other kids in the house, all of my cousins. This changed things; I could not run away this time because I could not leave them behind. During a season when a child should only be thinking of Santa Clause and Christmas morning, I was struggling with the thoughts of how to get six children out of the house safely in the event of catastrophe. It made my head spin. It would not be possible. All I could do was hope that nothing would happen. The thought of it kept me up at night in the days leading up to Christmas Eve.

I awoke Christmas Eve morning to the house smelling like fresh baked apple pie. I was not very fond of apple pie but I enjoyed the smell of it baking. The smell would linger in the house for hours. As I entered the kitchen, I could see that my Mother and Grandma Lois were sitting at the kitchen table having a coffee and chatting. Jack was in the living room watching TV. So I grabbed a bowl of cereal and headed over to the table.

As I was walking over, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jack signaling me. When I looked at him he mouthed the words “you don’t want to go with them” to me. I immediately lost my appetite! Whenever Jack knew that Mother was going to be out and the house would be empty, he would secretly tell me not to go and would expect me to say no if I was asked to go. It was very isolating. But today I was not going say no…. I was going to say yes. It was Christmas Eve after all. I was not going to let Jack ruin today for me. Once I sat down my Grandma Lois asked me if I would like to go with her to pick up my cousin Dallas. Without hesitation, I said yes! Instantly, Jack spoke up and asked me if I had done my chores. Using that as an attempt to try to hold me back at the house. However, my Mother quickly answered back telling him to leave me alone. That it was Christmas Eve and I would not have to do any chores.

Instead of eating my cereal, which was soggy by now. I rushed to my bedroom to get dressed for the day. As I passed by the living room on my way, I could see Jack was very angry with me. He was shaking his head, waving his finger and piercing right through me with his evil eyes as he mouthed the word “LATER” to me. It felt like lightning shot right through me but I took a deep breath and continued on thinking to myself…. I will pay for that later.