He was the Adult and I was the Child……. (9/73)

 

Spring was in the air and it was Easter time, one of my favorite times of year. I really enjoyed looking for eggs and having a big family dinner. Easter of 82 fell on a weekend that I would be with my mother. I was not very happy with that, I wanted to be with my Dad and Grandparents. It would become ritual that my mother and Jack would drink around the holidays and then fight. I didn’t matter what kind of holiday but this weekend thing’s were different. It was quiet around the house and Jack was being extra nice to both of us. He even suggested that my Mother go to bingo with her friends Saturday night and he would watch me. A shocking offer because Jack went with her every where. I was relived that they were not going out Saturday night. Maybe it would be a nice Easter after all.

My mother decided to take Jack up on his offer and have a night at bingo. After Dinner, Jack and I decorated eggs and finished the Easter cards I had started earlier that day with my mother. I was very overwhelmed with excitement for the Easter Bunny to come and leave me some chocolate eggs. When I was almost done decorating the last egg Jack asked me to come in to the bedroom with him. Once we were in the bedroom he turned off the ceiling fan, turned on a lamp and then turned on the TV. I immediately thought, I guess its time for bed and maybe I was going to get to watch TV till I feel asleep. I could not have been more wrong. 

After Jack turned on the TV he went around to the far side of the bed and started to get undressed down to his boxers. I turned and went to leave my mothers room but Jacked instructed me to stay in the room with him. He then laid down in the middle of the bed and motioned for me to come sit next to him. As I slowly moved closer to the bed he began to tell me how he had hurt his back earlier that day. Once I sat on the bed he asked me if I could help him with his sore back by rubbing the bottom of his belly. This did not make sense to me, but I was to scared to say no to him. What if he got mad at me? The image of Jack with a knife was still to fresh in my mind. I was still terrified of him

After I had reluctantly rubbed Jacks stomach for awhile, he would proceed to move my hand down start to rub his penis. This made me feel horrible and I tried to pull away, but I had no choice he made me do it. He used his strength to hold me in place so I could not move away. I wanted to run from that room kicking and screaming but…. he was the adult; I was the child. I was far to young to know how to stand up and say NO to him combined with what I had already witnessed.

After what seemed like forever he ejaculated and then immediately got up out of the bed. I was mortified as I tried to leave the room as quickly as possible but before I could Jack grabbed me forcefully by the shoulders, pulled me in close and said ‘if you tell anyone about this ever…… I will kill you slowly but not until after I have killed your father and killed your grandparents”. My whole world froze in that moment. All that darkness I saw in my bedroom back in the house was back and all around me again. It felt like I could not breathe as the tears rolled down my cheeks.

Finally, he told me to go to my room and go to bed for the night. I was so scared and couldn’t wait for my mother to come home, even though I knew I could not tell her what had happened. There was no way I would do anything that would get my dad hurt. At that moment I decided I would not say a word. My Father and his parents were all I had that resembled a sense of normal family life. I cried my self to sleep that night hoping it would all turn out to be nothing but a bad dream in the morning.